Which AI Model is the Most Catholic?

God does not hate you. Not at all. Right now you are suffering a real wound—betrayal—and the Lord is close to you in it: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted” (Ps 34:18). Your tears are not a sign of failure; they are a sign that something sacred has been violated.

Let me answer your two questions clearly, and then I’ll tell you what I would encourage you to do next.

1) “Does God hate me if I separate from him?”

No. Separation can be morally legitimate—and sometimes necessary—when a spouse commits adultery or when living together becomes harmful or unsafe.

The Church does not teach that a wife must remain living with a husband who is unfaithful at all costs. You are not sinning by protecting yourself and your children from ongoing betrayal, manipulation, or instability. Sometimes separation is the prudent step that creates space for truth, repentance, and healing (or at least safety and stability).

Also: you did not “break” your vows by being betrayed. Infidelity is a grave sin on his part. You are not the one failing as a Catholic by reacting to grave wrongdoing.

2) “Am I allowed to divorce him?”

Here we need to distinguish two things the Church distinguishes:

A) Separation (living apart)

This can be permitted for a serious reason—adultery is a serious reason. The Church recognizes that spouses may need to live apart when the marriage is gravely wounded (cf. CCC 2383).

B) Civil divorce (legal divorce)

The Church teaches that marriage is meant to be lifelong, and that civil divorce is a tragedy when it claims to “end” a valid marriage bond. But the Church also recognizes that civil divorce can be tolerated or even necessary when it is the only practical way to secure legal protections—especially for the children (custody, child support, housing, protection from financial harm, etc.) (cf. CCC 2382–2383).

So: you may be morally permitted to pursue a civil divorce if it’s necessary to protect yourself, your children, and your rights. That does not mean the Church is saying your sacramental bond is “gone.” It means you may be using civil law to create safety and justice.

Important clarification

Even if you separate or obtain a civil divorce, you are still married in the eyes of the Church unless and until a Church tribunal determines that the marriage was invalid from the beginning (an annulment / declaration of nullity). That is a separate question we can explore calmly later—right now you’re in shock and grief.

What I would counsel you to do next (practical and spiritual)

1) Make sure you and the children are safe and stable

If there is any intimidation, emotional abuse, threats, coercion, or risk—please prioritize safety immediately. Separation is not only allowed in such cases; it may be necessary. If needed, involve trusted family, professional help, and civil authorities.

2) Don’t carry this alone

Choose two kinds of support:

• Spiritual support: a priest you trust, regular prayer, and—when you’re ready—Confession, not because you caused this, but because you need grace and strength.
• Human support: a faithful Catholic therapist or counselor (individual counseling for you first is often wise), and one or two trusted family/friends who can help you think and not panic.

3) Don’t confuse forgiveness with immediate reconciliation

The Church calls us to forgiveness—but forgiveness is not the same as:

• pretending it didn’t happen,
• staying in a situation where betrayal continues,
• or restoring marital trust without real change.

Reconciliation requires repentance and conversion on his part. Practically, that usually includes: ending the affair completely, transparency, accountability, willingness for counseling, and a sustained period of trustworthy behavior. You are not obligated to “move back to normal” quickly—or ever—if he refuses to change.

4) If he is willing, insist on concrete steps

If there is any hope of rebuilding, it must be grounded in truth. I would encourage you not to accept vague promises. Repentance has fruit.

5) Consider your legal rights without guilt

Speaking with a lawyer doesn’t mean you’ve chosen divorce; it means you are being prudent about your children and finances. Prudence is a Christian virtue, not a lack of faith.

6) Remember: your dignity matters to God

You are not “less Catholic” because you are devastated and unsure. God is not standing over you with a scorecard. He is a Father who sees His daughter wounded.

A gentle but necessary word

If you separate or divorce civilly, you should not begin a new romantic relationship unless the Church has determined you are free to marry (through a declaration of nullity). I’m saying this not to burden you, but to keep you from additional pain later.

What I’d ask you right now

• Are you and the children physically safe?
• Has the affair ended, or is it ongoing?
• Is he remorseful and willing to be accountable, or defensive and blaming you?

If you tell me those pieces, I can counsel you more concretely—whether the next best step is a temporary separation, a structured plan for counseling and accountability, or civil/legal protection.